Monday, December 20, 2004
The first weird Christmas of my life
OK, well maybe that’s a little misleading – I’ve had some weird Christmases before, but this is the first Christmas where I will have more than one place to be. There are several factors this year that have unexpectedly come into play, and it’s going to be “interesting” trying to sort them all out.
Factor 1: Rob. I’ve had the occasional Christmas when I’ve had a boyfriend before, and yes, presumably they’ve all had families, but this is the first actual year where I’ve had a Christmas to spend with more than one family at the same approximate time. This factor kind of resolves itself in that Rob’s family does Christmas on Christmas Eve.
Factor 2: My sister. My sister, Laura, has a sort of fiancé-boyfriend-type-guy she has been with for, oh, say, about ten years now. They got engaged, they got unengaged, they built a huge house on the South West side of the city last year. They are now living in their large house, and his parents are going to be in town. So Laura now wants to have some portion of our family Christmas celebration to be held at her house. While I can certainly understand that desire, and I can appreciate the possibility of such a thing happening, I’m not entirely sure this is the year to do it.
Factor 3: My cats. Since I’m moving in with Rob, I haven’t set my place up for Christmas, really. I have no tree, the place has boxes all over for the packing, and we’re slowly moving over the furniture and stuff. However, my cats are still at my house, and will remain at my house until Rob’s roommate vacates his place at Rob’s house. We don’t want to take the cats over until he’s gone because, well, it would be a little strange. It’s not that I think he’d be mean to them or anything, but he doesn’t like smells of any kind and it’s already awkward enough as it is with him still there and me moving my stuff in. So we have to be in the place with my cats so I can give them their stocking and toys. Yes, I do that. No, I don’t think it’s strange. My cats have been with me longer than any guy, so far, and they’re like my own little family. I got stockings for the dogs, too, so if you think that’s weird, well, I’m not sure what I can tell you.
So add all these factors together, and it looks like a busy week ahead.
On December 23rd, we’re going for dinner with Rob’s friends. I’m sure I’ve commented before on the strange, close-knittedness of the group he belongs to, and this time of year is no exception to the group’s unfamiliar compulsion to do stuff together. I do like his friends, so I’m sure this will be fine, and I’m hoping I won’t hyperventilate myself into a blackout situation. I did bring up my strange aversion to these large group gatherings to my medical doctor, in case I have some sort of social anxiety disorder or something, and was advised that no, this is completely normal, and that a better way to get to know these people would probably be in smaller groups, a couple at a time, here or there. However, too late now, and here we go! Plunged into the icy waters of large group gatherings. At Christmas, when stress levels hit the redline in the stress-o-meters. Whee!!
On December 24th, we’re having dinner at Rob’s brother’s house. Sure, it’s a little odd, in that I’ve met his brother and family, say, 2.5 times so far. However, I’m assured it will be fine, and I get to meet his aunt, who I’m told will want to talk to me. No pressure there! I’m also making dessert, so if all else fails, I can stuff myself with chocolate and try to enjoy the endorphins from that.
On December 25th, we’ll be doing some presents for the animals at my house when we get up. Stockings, rattle-y furry mice, dog biscuits and chewies, and no Christmas tree. Due to the moving and time constraints, I have not gotten a Christmas tree. Aside from the fact that Rob prefers the artificial tree because it doesn’t kill real trees, I just haven’t had time to set it up, and there are boxes everywhere, and furniture slowly being taken out of my house, so it’s not all that Christmas-y. However, we will try to manage. I do have a number of Christmas CDs that I bought on sale after Christmas last year, which I will be breaking out in an attempt to Christmas-up the place.
Then, we are supposed to go to Laura’s house to do the whole family presents thing and brunch. Traditionally, we spend Christmas morning at my parents’ place, opening presents and eating whatever we can find in the kitchen and the chocolates we have opened. The Grumpaw has even been known to make pancakes with a “secret ingredient”. It’s a fine time. This year, we delve into the unknown. I haven’t been over to Laura’s house since the summertime. There has been some strife in her relationship with Shane (her guy), although I’m assured that this is alright now, and that Christmas won’t have any problems (heh). Additionally, his parents will be in attendance this year to add yet another complicating factor. So this should be interesting. My sister is the kind of person who abhors fat of all kinds, and eats according to a strict rule of law that prohibits most sugars from the house. Due to the whole Crohn’s thing I have going on, fruits and vegetables are kind of off my list of things I can eat without enduring a stabbing pain in my gut, so it should be interesting to see what I can scrounge. I have a feeling I will be bringing my own “brunch” (read: BACON, and lots of it!).
Later in the day, we plan on seeing a movie with Rob’s dad. This is a prelude to taking Rob’s dad with us to Christmas dinner. Some brief talk was had of having Christmas dinner at Laura’s house, although that would just be too weird and strange, so hopefully it will be held at my parents’ house, on familiar ground, on ground that won’t seem so strange to Rob’s father. He has already met my parents, which we implemented in a pre-emptive strike for the express purpose of preparing him to be invited to Christmas dinner. So Christmas dinner at my parents’ place will include the two of them, my brother The Mac, Laura & Shane, Shane’s parents, Rob and his father, and myself. That’s ten people, which is a lot of people for any place, really. It will require that we add the kitchen table to the dining room table to accommodate everyone. That way, we eliminate the “other table” syndrome, where there is a smaller, less prestigious table for those of lesser stature, usually reserved for children and guests you wish hadn’t shown up. No one likes the “other table”, because you miss out on all the good conversations and you have to probably cut up food for the other kids at the table. Plus, if there ARE children in the mix, they will likely be loud and obnoxious and might spill something on you. So under no circumstance should anyone of any civility put an adult guest at the “other table”. Take note, all of you hosting Christmases or other events at your houses – the “other table” is not alright. Make room at the large table, or just invite fewer people.
Hopefully, it all goes according to plan. I’ve already had several small anxiety attacks about this Christmas, and I’d prefer that we just play it according to the drafted regulations. The stunning oversight to this plan is, as you’ve already no doubt guessed, THE DOGS. We don’t know where they’ll be or what they’ll be doing, but hopefully they will not be taking vengeance upon us by destroying any bottles of Lysol or eating any cherished “good” Christmas pictures (as Cooter did this weekend when we left him alone for ONE HOUR in my house – probably because we didn’t walk him before we went out), or pilfering bacon grease from the frying pan ON the stove and theoretically out of reach, except for the NoodleDog’s extended tongue (which was his stab at disobedience this weekend – he couldn’t let Cooter have all the fun, now, could he? At least he went for something edible…). I just have to comment that as Cooter destroyed the bottle of Lysol and ate the only good picture of Rob and me from Rob’s Christmas party, there were two boxes of dog biscuits left ON THE FLOOR along with a giant bag of dog food he neglected to chew open. Instead, he went for the most inedible things in the house. I can’t imagine picture paper tasting that good, but he did consume the picture. I really can’t imagine Lysol holding any interest for a dog, but he punctured it and spilled it all over the living room. Oh, and he chewed up my drywall tape as well, which is totally incomprehensible, although when I showed the tape to the NoodleDog, he sniffed at it and went to eat it, so maybe that stuff smells good to dogs.
However, the dogs remain the rogue factor in this year’s Christmas plan. They can make it or break it. Here’s hoping they cooperate…
Factor 1: Rob. I’ve had the occasional Christmas when I’ve had a boyfriend before, and yes, presumably they’ve all had families, but this is the first actual year where I’ve had a Christmas to spend with more than one family at the same approximate time. This factor kind of resolves itself in that Rob’s family does Christmas on Christmas Eve.
Factor 2: My sister. My sister, Laura, has a sort of fiancé-boyfriend-type-guy she has been with for, oh, say, about ten years now. They got engaged, they got unengaged, they built a huge house on the South West side of the city last year. They are now living in their large house, and his parents are going to be in town. So Laura now wants to have some portion of our family Christmas celebration to be held at her house. While I can certainly understand that desire, and I can appreciate the possibility of such a thing happening, I’m not entirely sure this is the year to do it.
Factor 3: My cats. Since I’m moving in with Rob, I haven’t set my place up for Christmas, really. I have no tree, the place has boxes all over for the packing, and we’re slowly moving over the furniture and stuff. However, my cats are still at my house, and will remain at my house until Rob’s roommate vacates his place at Rob’s house. We don’t want to take the cats over until he’s gone because, well, it would be a little strange. It’s not that I think he’d be mean to them or anything, but he doesn’t like smells of any kind and it’s already awkward enough as it is with him still there and me moving my stuff in. So we have to be in the place with my cats so I can give them their stocking and toys. Yes, I do that. No, I don’t think it’s strange. My cats have been with me longer than any guy, so far, and they’re like my own little family. I got stockings for the dogs, too, so if you think that’s weird, well, I’m not sure what I can tell you.
So add all these factors together, and it looks like a busy week ahead.
On December 23rd, we’re going for dinner with Rob’s friends. I’m sure I’ve commented before on the strange, close-knittedness of the group he belongs to, and this time of year is no exception to the group’s unfamiliar compulsion to do stuff together. I do like his friends, so I’m sure this will be fine, and I’m hoping I won’t hyperventilate myself into a blackout situation. I did bring up my strange aversion to these large group gatherings to my medical doctor, in case I have some sort of social anxiety disorder or something, and was advised that no, this is completely normal, and that a better way to get to know these people would probably be in smaller groups, a couple at a time, here or there. However, too late now, and here we go! Plunged into the icy waters of large group gatherings. At Christmas, when stress levels hit the redline in the stress-o-meters. Whee!!
On December 24th, we’re having dinner at Rob’s brother’s house. Sure, it’s a little odd, in that I’ve met his brother and family, say, 2.5 times so far. However, I’m assured it will be fine, and I get to meet his aunt, who I’m told will want to talk to me. No pressure there! I’m also making dessert, so if all else fails, I can stuff myself with chocolate and try to enjoy the endorphins from that.
On December 25th, we’ll be doing some presents for the animals at my house when we get up. Stockings, rattle-y furry mice, dog biscuits and chewies, and no Christmas tree. Due to the moving and time constraints, I have not gotten a Christmas tree. Aside from the fact that Rob prefers the artificial tree because it doesn’t kill real trees, I just haven’t had time to set it up, and there are boxes everywhere, and furniture slowly being taken out of my house, so it’s not all that Christmas-y. However, we will try to manage. I do have a number of Christmas CDs that I bought on sale after Christmas last year, which I will be breaking out in an attempt to Christmas-up the place.
Then, we are supposed to go to Laura’s house to do the whole family presents thing and brunch. Traditionally, we spend Christmas morning at my parents’ place, opening presents and eating whatever we can find in the kitchen and the chocolates we have opened. The Grumpaw has even been known to make pancakes with a “secret ingredient”. It’s a fine time. This year, we delve into the unknown. I haven’t been over to Laura’s house since the summertime. There has been some strife in her relationship with Shane (her guy), although I’m assured that this is alright now, and that Christmas won’t have any problems (heh). Additionally, his parents will be in attendance this year to add yet another complicating factor. So this should be interesting. My sister is the kind of person who abhors fat of all kinds, and eats according to a strict rule of law that prohibits most sugars from the house. Due to the whole Crohn’s thing I have going on, fruits and vegetables are kind of off my list of things I can eat without enduring a stabbing pain in my gut, so it should be interesting to see what I can scrounge. I have a feeling I will be bringing my own “brunch” (read: BACON, and lots of it!).
Later in the day, we plan on seeing a movie with Rob’s dad. This is a prelude to taking Rob’s dad with us to Christmas dinner. Some brief talk was had of having Christmas dinner at Laura’s house, although that would just be too weird and strange, so hopefully it will be held at my parents’ house, on familiar ground, on ground that won’t seem so strange to Rob’s father. He has already met my parents, which we implemented in a pre-emptive strike for the express purpose of preparing him to be invited to Christmas dinner. So Christmas dinner at my parents’ place will include the two of them, my brother The Mac, Laura & Shane, Shane’s parents, Rob and his father, and myself. That’s ten people, which is a lot of people for any place, really. It will require that we add the kitchen table to the dining room table to accommodate everyone. That way, we eliminate the “other table” syndrome, where there is a smaller, less prestigious table for those of lesser stature, usually reserved for children and guests you wish hadn’t shown up. No one likes the “other table”, because you miss out on all the good conversations and you have to probably cut up food for the other kids at the table. Plus, if there ARE children in the mix, they will likely be loud and obnoxious and might spill something on you. So under no circumstance should anyone of any civility put an adult guest at the “other table”. Take note, all of you hosting Christmases or other events at your houses – the “other table” is not alright. Make room at the large table, or just invite fewer people.
Hopefully, it all goes according to plan. I’ve already had several small anxiety attacks about this Christmas, and I’d prefer that we just play it according to the drafted regulations. The stunning oversight to this plan is, as you’ve already no doubt guessed, THE DOGS. We don’t know where they’ll be or what they’ll be doing, but hopefully they will not be taking vengeance upon us by destroying any bottles of Lysol or eating any cherished “good” Christmas pictures (as Cooter did this weekend when we left him alone for ONE HOUR in my house – probably because we didn’t walk him before we went out), or pilfering bacon grease from the frying pan ON the stove and theoretically out of reach, except for the NoodleDog’s extended tongue (which was his stab at disobedience this weekend – he couldn’t let Cooter have all the fun, now, could he? At least he went for something edible…). I just have to comment that as Cooter destroyed the bottle of Lysol and ate the only good picture of Rob and me from Rob’s Christmas party, there were two boxes of dog biscuits left ON THE FLOOR along with a giant bag of dog food he neglected to chew open. Instead, he went for the most inedible things in the house. I can’t imagine picture paper tasting that good, but he did consume the picture. I really can’t imagine Lysol holding any interest for a dog, but he punctured it and spilled it all over the living room. Oh, and he chewed up my drywall tape as well, which is totally incomprehensible, although when I showed the tape to the NoodleDog, he sniffed at it and went to eat it, so maybe that stuff smells good to dogs.
However, the dogs remain the rogue factor in this year’s Christmas plan. They can make it or break it. Here’s hoping they cooperate…
