Friday, October 01, 2004
A story about car insurance
Once upon a time, there was this crazy girl who lived with her cats by herself. Her great plan was to buy a nice big house with a covered porch and an apple tree out front, and then she’d get a nice rocking chair so she could sit in it on the porch. She’d get many, many cats, make either very sweet or very sour lemonade, and then yell at the kids on the block who would inevitably call her Crazy Lady and try to steal her apples. She’d force the mailman and meter readers to drink the foul lemonade concoction whenever they would have to come to her house. And she’d laugh and laugh at them all.
One day, this girl was out driving her very large car. Further to her house plan, she also planned on buying a nice fruit-covered hat, because she was short, and wanted people to be able to see that she was in the car, looking through the steering wheel, and the hat would give her head the height necessary to be seen by passers-by. On this particularly nice, spring day, she decided she’d go to the market to get some over-the-counter cold medicine (because better to be prepared) and a package of biscuits.
She very carefully parked her large vehicle, and entered the store. Oh, my! What a store! It had a small pet section with fish and a couple of birds that talked. It had a hardware section, with thingies and dohickies and all sorts of stuff. It had a book and magazine section, where she perused the latest copy of Car & Driver (for it was another dream to have a little sports car). There was also a grocery section, where she looked at, but did not buy, many things. She was probably in the store for about an hour, and when she came out, she slowly made her way over to her car, which was still parked perfectly where she had left it.
However, on the passenger side, there was a large dent in the rear door. She went to it immediately, and looked at it. There was no sign of any other vehicle near the big car, so she looked around. She spied a small, old Chinese woman, laden with groceries and bags of stuff, so weighed-down that she could barely walk. The Chinese woman shuffled by her with her purchases, and said “Big truck hit your car.”
“I beg your pardon?” said the girl, stunned.
“Big truck hit your car. He drive away.”
“Did you see this? Do you know where he went? Did you see his license plate?” The girl was worried.
“Big truck hit your car.” Replied the enigmatic Chinese woman, still shuffling away.
Great, thought the girl. Now what? She put her small bag of cold medicine and biscuits in the car, and looked at the rear passenger door some more. Well, she thought, it can’t be that bad - insurance will cover it, and started the car. When she got home, she learned that although the car had road insurance, it did not include collision, because her father didn’t believe in that sort of thing. The damage was over a thousand dollars, and to repair the rear passenger door, which she rarely ever used, was probably not worth it. So the car, to this day, still bears the mark of the Big Truck. An unfortunate incident.
Now, gentle readers, this girl gets older, and always insures her cars for collision and always pays on time. She has never made a claim against her insurance, and is a very good driver. She does, however, like to drive Very Fast, and has been stopped, on occasion, by policemen who probably should be doing more important things, like stopping actual criminals from robbing people and/or killing them. This girl bought a Tiny Car not long ago, and since the purchase of the Tiny Car, she may have racked up a few speeding tickets and one “failure to stop at a stop sign” – a ticket very unfairly given by policemen who laughed at her as she rolled through a totally deserted intersection trying to get her cats home before they freaked out completely (they do not like car rides).
Her car insurance comes up for renewal one year, and she gets a letter congratulating her on being such a good driver, and the letter says that since she is such a loyal, long-term customer who has never made a claim, the nice insurance company would like to offer her a 10% reduction in her rates over last year’s premiums. She is pleased! She picks up her mail the next day, and there is a registered letter waiting for her to be picked up. Excited, she goes to the post office, and picks up the letter. But wait, it’s from her insurance company. Could it be a further reduction?
No. It is not a further reduction at all. It is a very nasty letter explaining that since she has been classified a “high risk driver”, the car insurance company no longer wishes to insure her, and is refunding her last month’s premium, and would like it if she never contacts them again, ever.
Dismayed, she calls the insurance company and is informed that her license is suspended, and that she is a bad, bad driver who has too many demerit points to be insured by such a morally upstanding insurance company, who only wants to take money from people with no risk to them whatsoever and therefore not have to actually provide any service to them at all. She is advised she needs to contact the Vehicle Registry nearest her to find out more about this alarming situation.
So she does exactly that. She goes to the registry where she speaks with a very nice customer service girl, who sympathizes with her plight. She is given her abstract, and is shocked when she learns that she has 18 demerit points. You are only allowed 15 before they suspend your license for a whole month! She asks the kind, kind customer service girl whether anyone was going to tell her her license was suspended, and no answers are forthcoming. They really should have told you, says the customer service girl. Her license, coincidentally enough, is up for reinstatement the very next day for the very reasonable fee of only $100, so she pays it and is on her merry way (sneaking over to the car and opening the door all crouched-down so the girl doesn’t see that she’s actually driving…).
Being classified as a “high-risk” driver is not all glamour. It means that your insurance goes way, way up. Instead of paying the reasonable premiums she had been paying with her long-term insurance company, she is forced to go to the market with her sullied abstract. Most companies turn her away, but her friends at The Cooperators, who she gave thousands and thousands of dollars of business to from her work, said they’d insure her. For a lot of money, but at least she still has insurance until those tickets drop off her record (in August of next year, by the way). Her friend at The Cooperators even noted that she seemed to have gotten most of her tickets towards the ends of the months, so she needs to keep an especially sharp eye out for policemen who are making money for their department after mid-month.
Moral of the story? Don’t get caught speeding.
Post-script: The girl is not all crazy with cats. She now has a dog, too!
One day, this girl was out driving her very large car. Further to her house plan, she also planned on buying a nice fruit-covered hat, because she was short, and wanted people to be able to see that she was in the car, looking through the steering wheel, and the hat would give her head the height necessary to be seen by passers-by. On this particularly nice, spring day, she decided she’d go to the market to get some over-the-counter cold medicine (because better to be prepared) and a package of biscuits.
She very carefully parked her large vehicle, and entered the store. Oh, my! What a store! It had a small pet section with fish and a couple of birds that talked. It had a hardware section, with thingies and dohickies and all sorts of stuff. It had a book and magazine section, where she perused the latest copy of Car & Driver (for it was another dream to have a little sports car). There was also a grocery section, where she looked at, but did not buy, many things. She was probably in the store for about an hour, and when she came out, she slowly made her way over to her car, which was still parked perfectly where she had left it.
However, on the passenger side, there was a large dent in the rear door. She went to it immediately, and looked at it. There was no sign of any other vehicle near the big car, so she looked around. She spied a small, old Chinese woman, laden with groceries and bags of stuff, so weighed-down that she could barely walk. The Chinese woman shuffled by her with her purchases, and said “Big truck hit your car.”
“I beg your pardon?” said the girl, stunned.
“Big truck hit your car. He drive away.”
“Did you see this? Do you know where he went? Did you see his license plate?” The girl was worried.
“Big truck hit your car.” Replied the enigmatic Chinese woman, still shuffling away.
Great, thought the girl. Now what? She put her small bag of cold medicine and biscuits in the car, and looked at the rear passenger door some more. Well, she thought, it can’t be that bad - insurance will cover it, and started the car. When she got home, she learned that although the car had road insurance, it did not include collision, because her father didn’t believe in that sort of thing. The damage was over a thousand dollars, and to repair the rear passenger door, which she rarely ever used, was probably not worth it. So the car, to this day, still bears the mark of the Big Truck. An unfortunate incident.
Now, gentle readers, this girl gets older, and always insures her cars for collision and always pays on time. She has never made a claim against her insurance, and is a very good driver. She does, however, like to drive Very Fast, and has been stopped, on occasion, by policemen who probably should be doing more important things, like stopping actual criminals from robbing people and/or killing them. This girl bought a Tiny Car not long ago, and since the purchase of the Tiny Car, she may have racked up a few speeding tickets and one “failure to stop at a stop sign” – a ticket very unfairly given by policemen who laughed at her as she rolled through a totally deserted intersection trying to get her cats home before they freaked out completely (they do not like car rides).
Her car insurance comes up for renewal one year, and she gets a letter congratulating her on being such a good driver, and the letter says that since she is such a loyal, long-term customer who has never made a claim, the nice insurance company would like to offer her a 10% reduction in her rates over last year’s premiums. She is pleased! She picks up her mail the next day, and there is a registered letter waiting for her to be picked up. Excited, she goes to the post office, and picks up the letter. But wait, it’s from her insurance company. Could it be a further reduction?
No. It is not a further reduction at all. It is a very nasty letter explaining that since she has been classified a “high risk driver”, the car insurance company no longer wishes to insure her, and is refunding her last month’s premium, and would like it if she never contacts them again, ever.
Dismayed, she calls the insurance company and is informed that her license is suspended, and that she is a bad, bad driver who has too many demerit points to be insured by such a morally upstanding insurance company, who only wants to take money from people with no risk to them whatsoever and therefore not have to actually provide any service to them at all. She is advised she needs to contact the Vehicle Registry nearest her to find out more about this alarming situation.
So she does exactly that. She goes to the registry where she speaks with a very nice customer service girl, who sympathizes with her plight. She is given her abstract, and is shocked when she learns that she has 18 demerit points. You are only allowed 15 before they suspend your license for a whole month! She asks the kind, kind customer service girl whether anyone was going to tell her her license was suspended, and no answers are forthcoming. They really should have told you, says the customer service girl. Her license, coincidentally enough, is up for reinstatement the very next day for the very reasonable fee of only $100, so she pays it and is on her merry way (sneaking over to the car and opening the door all crouched-down so the girl doesn’t see that she’s actually driving…).
Being classified as a “high-risk” driver is not all glamour. It means that your insurance goes way, way up. Instead of paying the reasonable premiums she had been paying with her long-term insurance company, she is forced to go to the market with her sullied abstract. Most companies turn her away, but her friends at The Cooperators, who she gave thousands and thousands of dollars of business to from her work, said they’d insure her. For a lot of money, but at least she still has insurance until those tickets drop off her record (in August of next year, by the way). Her friend at The Cooperators even noted that she seemed to have gotten most of her tickets towards the ends of the months, so she needs to keep an especially sharp eye out for policemen who are making money for their department after mid-month.
Moral of the story? Don’t get caught speeding.
Post-script: The girl is not all crazy with cats. She now has a dog, too!
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