Friday, August 20, 2004
We're going camping!
The NoodleDog and I are going camping! Well, sort of.
“Camping” brings to mind a peaceful setting in the remote backwoods, with a small campfire with rough campfire-cooked food, and a neat little tent. A site that you, perhaps, have to walk into, and at the very least is somewhat removed from the other people in the world.
What we’re doing this weekend is we’re driving out about an hour to a site that will be patronized by a large number of other people, and we’ll be sleeping in a camper. So, then, not technically camping, but not anything else, either. I guess it’s sort of camping. Apparently, there will be carousing, drinking and quadding. There will be sitting around a fire chatting and hanging out. There will be cooking, and even baking (because the camper has an oven).
We’re actually going to some sort of Forestry area. So it will have forest there, but there will apparently be cows, as well, which doesn’t exactly suggest “wilderness”. This is, perhaps, a good thing, because I’m bringing the NoodleDog.
When it was first suggested I go camping and bring the NoodleDog, images of him chasing pretty much everything that moves came to mind. They were then accompanied by images of him running away from a bear, or alternatively being too stupid to run away and barking at it instead. Or perhaps just coyotes, which are famous for their ability to lure perfectly happy dogs away from their masters THE BETTER TO EAT THEM!!! Eeek!
So while I was elated that I got invited to go camping, I instantly started to worry about the consequences (see, there’s that balance going on). What if the NoodleDog follows us when we’re quadding, and gets lost? What if the NoodleDog chases a squirrel (a seemingly innocuous activity) and gets lost? What if he hurts himself? What if he barks because he can’t see me at all times (as he has been known to do – he’s kind of a big baby)? What if he can’t stand the camper? What if he jumps up on stuff? What if he jumps up on people? What if he eats people food and gets sick? What if he eats not people food, not animal food, but something else, like a poisonous plant and gets sick? What if the other dogs laugh at him because he’s such a baby and his mom is such a worrier?
I was informed (through muffled laughter) that there are no bears where we’re going. Yeah, right. I’m sure that’s what the last guy who got eaten by a bear thought. I was also informed that the worst the NoodleDog will experience is perhaps the after-effects of overeating cow shit. Now that, I can believe, and I am not looking forward to dealing with that at all no-way-no-how.
The Mac recommended I get a tie-down for the NoodleDog, so I can install him somewhere with the ability to move around but be limited, without having to hold onto him the whole time, and I did. Those suckers are expensive, but only the best for the NoodleDog. While I was at the pet supply place, I also got him some “doggles”, so he can stick his head out the window getting there without getting bugs or dust in his eyes. See how spoiled he is? He won’t survive in the wilderness. Good thing we’re not going there.
I’m only slightly concerned that it’s been about fifteen years (heh) since I’ve been camping (really camping – it’s only been about ten since I went out to the woods and partied). I’m only going overnight, and I think I can hack it, even if I get rained-on or slightly injured (as long as I don’t, say, break a leg or anything). The real test will be whether I can keep from saying something totally stupid and inane in front of this new guy’s friends. That’s my main concern.
There’s a lot of pressure associated with meeting The Friends. It’s like having a guest spot on the show, Friends, and finding out you’re the liaison of the week that everyone gets to make fun of. As far as I understand it, too, this group is fairly close-knit, which just adds to the worry (because I’ve already got the NoodleDog issues to contend with). My main goal for the trip is to not say anything offensive or stupid, and to be as nice as possible to everyone and not have them hate me. I don’t think they’ll dislike me on principal – they should be fairly nice being this guy’s friends – it’s just that I have been known to make the occasional stupid comment. And I can be naive, let’s face it. I don’t expect the unexpected too often. So there’s the potential for a lot of people to make a lot of fun of me. I’m told I’m already in “trouble” because I’m only staying one night, not both.
So elation, trepidation, flat-out worry, excitement about seeing this guy for an extended period of time, wondering what I’ll forget this time (it better not be my medication), thinking that it would suck if the Tiny Car craps out the way it had been before I scared it by taking it to the dealer, a million scenarios are running through my head. This better be fun.
I’ll let you know.
“Camping” brings to mind a peaceful setting in the remote backwoods, with a small campfire with rough campfire-cooked food, and a neat little tent. A site that you, perhaps, have to walk into, and at the very least is somewhat removed from the other people in the world.
What we’re doing this weekend is we’re driving out about an hour to a site that will be patronized by a large number of other people, and we’ll be sleeping in a camper. So, then, not technically camping, but not anything else, either. I guess it’s sort of camping. Apparently, there will be carousing, drinking and quadding. There will be sitting around a fire chatting and hanging out. There will be cooking, and even baking (because the camper has an oven).
We’re actually going to some sort of Forestry area. So it will have forest there, but there will apparently be cows, as well, which doesn’t exactly suggest “wilderness”. This is, perhaps, a good thing, because I’m bringing the NoodleDog.
When it was first suggested I go camping and bring the NoodleDog, images of him chasing pretty much everything that moves came to mind. They were then accompanied by images of him running away from a bear, or alternatively being too stupid to run away and barking at it instead. Or perhaps just coyotes, which are famous for their ability to lure perfectly happy dogs away from their masters THE BETTER TO EAT THEM!!! Eeek!
So while I was elated that I got invited to go camping, I instantly started to worry about the consequences (see, there’s that balance going on). What if the NoodleDog follows us when we’re quadding, and gets lost? What if the NoodleDog chases a squirrel (a seemingly innocuous activity) and gets lost? What if he hurts himself? What if he barks because he can’t see me at all times (as he has been known to do – he’s kind of a big baby)? What if he can’t stand the camper? What if he jumps up on stuff? What if he jumps up on people? What if he eats people food and gets sick? What if he eats not people food, not animal food, but something else, like a poisonous plant and gets sick? What if the other dogs laugh at him because he’s such a baby and his mom is such a worrier?
I was informed (through muffled laughter) that there are no bears where we’re going. Yeah, right. I’m sure that’s what the last guy who got eaten by a bear thought. I was also informed that the worst the NoodleDog will experience is perhaps the after-effects of overeating cow shit. Now that, I can believe, and I am not looking forward to dealing with that at all no-way-no-how.
The Mac recommended I get a tie-down for the NoodleDog, so I can install him somewhere with the ability to move around but be limited, without having to hold onto him the whole time, and I did. Those suckers are expensive, but only the best for the NoodleDog. While I was at the pet supply place, I also got him some “doggles”, so he can stick his head out the window getting there without getting bugs or dust in his eyes. See how spoiled he is? He won’t survive in the wilderness. Good thing we’re not going there.
I’m only slightly concerned that it’s been about fifteen years (heh) since I’ve been camping (really camping – it’s only been about ten since I went out to the woods and partied). I’m only going overnight, and I think I can hack it, even if I get rained-on or slightly injured (as long as I don’t, say, break a leg or anything). The real test will be whether I can keep from saying something totally stupid and inane in front of this new guy’s friends. That’s my main concern.
There’s a lot of pressure associated with meeting The Friends. It’s like having a guest spot on the show, Friends, and finding out you’re the liaison of the week that everyone gets to make fun of. As far as I understand it, too, this group is fairly close-knit, which just adds to the worry (because I’ve already got the NoodleDog issues to contend with). My main goal for the trip is to not say anything offensive or stupid, and to be as nice as possible to everyone and not have them hate me. I don’t think they’ll dislike me on principal – they should be fairly nice being this guy’s friends – it’s just that I have been known to make the occasional stupid comment. And I can be naive, let’s face it. I don’t expect the unexpected too often. So there’s the potential for a lot of people to make a lot of fun of me. I’m told I’m already in “trouble” because I’m only staying one night, not both.
So elation, trepidation, flat-out worry, excitement about seeing this guy for an extended period of time, wondering what I’ll forget this time (it better not be my medication), thinking that it would suck if the Tiny Car craps out the way it had been before I scared it by taking it to the dealer, a million scenarios are running through my head. This better be fun.
I’ll let you know.
