Friday, August 27, 2004
U-Haul, U-Suck
It’s Friday here in the world, and I don’t have much for news at the moment. So instead, I will entertain you with a story from my past.
Once upon a time, The Mac had to move from Grad School in Hamilton down to his PhD Program in the U.S. He wisely packed up all of his belongings and came home for the summer, planning to go back to Hamilton just before the start of the school year to get his things and move them down to the States in a rented U-haul van. It sounded like a good idea at the time, so I agreed to go with him and his then-girlfriend – I in my car, them in his - to assist with the move.
We drove through Winnipeg (where we spent the first night after one long day of driving), dipping just below the Great Lakes. The second day was a lot of rain, which is supposedly typical of the area. At one point, there was so much rain on the road no one could see, and cars were pulling off the road to just wait it out. That was the craziest rainstorm I’ve ever been in (so far, although there have been some close contenders recently). The second night, we planned to get a little further than we did, but we had to stop in Ishpiming because of the rain. We stayed at the Triangle Motel in Ishpiming!
We made our way back into Canada on the third day. The Mac and his girlfriend went their way, and I went to visit friends who had moved to the area. We met back up after the weekend to pack the U-haul and head South. Bright and early Monday morning, we proceeded to the U-haul rental center on James, where they had never heard of us. The Mac consulted his records and determined we were in the wrong U-haul office, so we went to the right one (which wasn’t that far away, so you could sort of see how he might have gotten in wrong). That first bad omen was actually a harbinger of doom. The rest of the day did not go as smoothly.
At the right U-haul office (which was run out of a Petro Canada), the nice man at the counter informed us that unfortunately, the American-licensed van we had rented was “unavailable” because none of the customers having American-licensed vans had returned them yet. We asked politely whether they could be contacted, perhaps, by phone to ask them to bring back the vehicles. The clerk was unamused. He recommended we go “home” and wait for him to call us with a vehicle.
Having no “home” to go to, we opted to wait. In their lobby. Playing card games and variations of “I Spy”. By lunchtime, our patience was wearing thin. I asked whether he thought there would be a vehicle for us soon, and he said he’d talked to one of the customers who was bringing one in. Great! We thought we’d go for lunch, and when we got back, there would be good news.
There wasn’t.
We waited. I chatted with the clerk, hoping to show him with my incessant and fierce niceness that we were people WORTH helping. All to no avail. No vehicle was returned that day. We asked whether there was, perhaps, any U-haul in the GTA that might get us across the border. The clerk tried to find us something by calling ALL of the U-haul offices in the Golden Horseshoe. Five o’clock rolled around, and it didn’t look good.
Finally, a breakthrough!! Someone had returned a vehicle to the Brampton office just before closing, about a 45-minute drive away. We’d take it!! No objections, no problem! The Brampton office was closing (of course), but the staff would leave it unlocked with the keys in it for us under the floormat. Off we went, buoyed by the good news. Dinner was had, stories were told with laughter and great relief, and plans were made for departure.
Our original plans were to travel on Monday and unpack on Tuesday at The Mac’s new residence. These plans were obviously shot since a seven-hour drive wouldn’t be feasible after dark with our crew. The Mac’s girlfriend didn’t really drive all that much, and highway travel with her in my car wouldn’t be that smart. At the time, I didn’t drive a standard, so The Mac would be forced to drive his car (poor Mac). What did that leave me? With the U-haul, of course.
We went to pick it up. In Brampton. In the “bad neighborhood”. We were lucky it was still there, considering, but any thieves who might have approached it with the intention of taking it probably abandoned it due to the offensive and pervasive smell emanating from all surfaces in the cab. The smooth surfaces of the cab were coated in some thin, slimy stuff that smelled like the most potent body odor I have ever smelled. The not-smooth surfaces of the cab had probably soaked it in.
Gagging, with dismay and the horrible smell, we drove the U-haul to the gas station to fill it up. I had to drive with the windows rolled down and my head out the window – it was the only way I could keep my eyes from watering too much to see. At the gas station, I wiped the surfaces with paper towel as much as I could, but it was a losing battle. The Mac and his girlfriend bought some air fresheners for the cab, as well. I’m not sure if this is all of Eastern Canada, but Ontario doesn’t seem to sell pine scented air fresheners. They sell fruit scented air fresheners. No matter, I though, anything is better than this!
We retired to a hotel in Hamilton so we could load the U-haul the following day. When I opened the cab the next morning, the overwhelming smell of rotting sweaty fruit pummeled me in the face. I uttered a cry of sheer frustration and immediately rolled all the windows down. We loaded the vehicle as quickly as we could (taking special care not to cut ourselves on the broken glass the last renters had kindly left for us, thanking U-haul for their fantastic cleaning of the vehicle, but then remembering we could just as easily not have had anything at all…) and hit the road. Dodging semis and other vehicles, we made our way down to The Mac’s new home. We did well, considering. We unpacked rapidly and all fell asleep on whatever we had managed to drag into the apartment.
The first order of business the next day was to return the U-haul. We drove through the town (which is not that great, especially in the bad areas) to the U-haul designated return, which was being run out of a car rental joint. As we waited in the lobby of the joint, a huge African-American man of an unspecified occupation tried to rent a car for cash. He wouldn’t take no for an answer, and I was pretty impressed by the clerk’s ability to resist the pressure of his persuasion and sheer size. Finally, he left (without a car), and it was our turn. The Mac presented his paperwork and the vehicle’s mileage report. Having driven from Brampton, of course, the trip was about 50 km longer than he had applied for. Taking the kilometerage into consideration, the U-haul people kindly charged us an extra $3.00 for our troubles of waiting an entire day (3 educated, working people x $15/hr x 8 hrs = $360), plus travel to Brampton and the mental anguish the state of the vehicle caused (which put my estimation of the damages to us at over $500).
The moral of the story? U-haul, U-Suck!!
Once upon a time, The Mac had to move from Grad School in Hamilton down to his PhD Program in the U.S. He wisely packed up all of his belongings and came home for the summer, planning to go back to Hamilton just before the start of the school year to get his things and move them down to the States in a rented U-haul van. It sounded like a good idea at the time, so I agreed to go with him and his then-girlfriend – I in my car, them in his - to assist with the move.
We drove through Winnipeg (where we spent the first night after one long day of driving), dipping just below the Great Lakes. The second day was a lot of rain, which is supposedly typical of the area. At one point, there was so much rain on the road no one could see, and cars were pulling off the road to just wait it out. That was the craziest rainstorm I’ve ever been in (so far, although there have been some close contenders recently). The second night, we planned to get a little further than we did, but we had to stop in Ishpiming because of the rain. We stayed at the Triangle Motel in Ishpiming!
We made our way back into Canada on the third day. The Mac and his girlfriend went their way, and I went to visit friends who had moved to the area. We met back up after the weekend to pack the U-haul and head South. Bright and early Monday morning, we proceeded to the U-haul rental center on James, where they had never heard of us. The Mac consulted his records and determined we were in the wrong U-haul office, so we went to the right one (which wasn’t that far away, so you could sort of see how he might have gotten in wrong). That first bad omen was actually a harbinger of doom. The rest of the day did not go as smoothly.
At the right U-haul office (which was run out of a Petro Canada), the nice man at the counter informed us that unfortunately, the American-licensed van we had rented was “unavailable” because none of the customers having American-licensed vans had returned them yet. We asked politely whether they could be contacted, perhaps, by phone to ask them to bring back the vehicles. The clerk was unamused. He recommended we go “home” and wait for him to call us with a vehicle.
Having no “home” to go to, we opted to wait. In their lobby. Playing card games and variations of “I Spy”. By lunchtime, our patience was wearing thin. I asked whether he thought there would be a vehicle for us soon, and he said he’d talked to one of the customers who was bringing one in. Great! We thought we’d go for lunch, and when we got back, there would be good news.
There wasn’t.
We waited. I chatted with the clerk, hoping to show him with my incessant and fierce niceness that we were people WORTH helping. All to no avail. No vehicle was returned that day. We asked whether there was, perhaps, any U-haul in the GTA that might get us across the border. The clerk tried to find us something by calling ALL of the U-haul offices in the Golden Horseshoe. Five o’clock rolled around, and it didn’t look good.
Finally, a breakthrough!! Someone had returned a vehicle to the Brampton office just before closing, about a 45-minute drive away. We’d take it!! No objections, no problem! The Brampton office was closing (of course), but the staff would leave it unlocked with the keys in it for us under the floormat. Off we went, buoyed by the good news. Dinner was had, stories were told with laughter and great relief, and plans were made for departure.
Our original plans were to travel on Monday and unpack on Tuesday at The Mac’s new residence. These plans were obviously shot since a seven-hour drive wouldn’t be feasible after dark with our crew. The Mac’s girlfriend didn’t really drive all that much, and highway travel with her in my car wouldn’t be that smart. At the time, I didn’t drive a standard, so The Mac would be forced to drive his car (poor Mac). What did that leave me? With the U-haul, of course.
We went to pick it up. In Brampton. In the “bad neighborhood”. We were lucky it was still there, considering, but any thieves who might have approached it with the intention of taking it probably abandoned it due to the offensive and pervasive smell emanating from all surfaces in the cab. The smooth surfaces of the cab were coated in some thin, slimy stuff that smelled like the most potent body odor I have ever smelled. The not-smooth surfaces of the cab had probably soaked it in.
Gagging, with dismay and the horrible smell, we drove the U-haul to the gas station to fill it up. I had to drive with the windows rolled down and my head out the window – it was the only way I could keep my eyes from watering too much to see. At the gas station, I wiped the surfaces with paper towel as much as I could, but it was a losing battle. The Mac and his girlfriend bought some air fresheners for the cab, as well. I’m not sure if this is all of Eastern Canada, but Ontario doesn’t seem to sell pine scented air fresheners. They sell fruit scented air fresheners. No matter, I though, anything is better than this!
We retired to a hotel in Hamilton so we could load the U-haul the following day. When I opened the cab the next morning, the overwhelming smell of rotting sweaty fruit pummeled me in the face. I uttered a cry of sheer frustration and immediately rolled all the windows down. We loaded the vehicle as quickly as we could (taking special care not to cut ourselves on the broken glass the last renters had kindly left for us, thanking U-haul for their fantastic cleaning of the vehicle, but then remembering we could just as easily not have had anything at all…) and hit the road. Dodging semis and other vehicles, we made our way down to The Mac’s new home. We did well, considering. We unpacked rapidly and all fell asleep on whatever we had managed to drag into the apartment.
The first order of business the next day was to return the U-haul. We drove through the town (which is not that great, especially in the bad areas) to the U-haul designated return, which was being run out of a car rental joint. As we waited in the lobby of the joint, a huge African-American man of an unspecified occupation tried to rent a car for cash. He wouldn’t take no for an answer, and I was pretty impressed by the clerk’s ability to resist the pressure of his persuasion and sheer size. Finally, he left (without a car), and it was our turn. The Mac presented his paperwork and the vehicle’s mileage report. Having driven from Brampton, of course, the trip was about 50 km longer than he had applied for. Taking the kilometerage into consideration, the U-haul people kindly charged us an extra $3.00 for our troubles of waiting an entire day (3 educated, working people x $15/hr x 8 hrs = $360), plus travel to Brampton and the mental anguish the state of the vehicle caused (which put my estimation of the damages to us at over $500).
The moral of the story? U-haul, U-Suck!!
